


Love Me Not

by katiekat784



Series: ABC Challenge [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 22:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10448646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiekat784/pseuds/katiekat784
Summary: It's the day before Cat leaves to 'dive' and Kara has a little too much to drink. Liquid courage convinces her that confessing her feelings for the other woman at 2am is a good idea.S is for Stay





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the ABC Challenge I'm trying out. A drabble for each letter of the alphabet. Except this one got a little out of hand. S is for Stay

Love Me Not

She thought for a moment that maybe just maybe she shouldn’t have done this. That maybe knocking on her door at two am wasn’t such a good idea. But then again, her life had been a string of bad ideas lately. So, what was one more to add to the list. She stared at the closed curtains for a moment and sighed. The other woman was awake, she had to be. The light was still shining through. She could’ve used her powers except they were currently a little weaker than they should’ve been. She wasn’t drunk but standing there made her realize that she might have had a little bit too much to drink. It had been an awful week and Kara just needed to let go for a while. She never understood why humans drank to release and forget until she was able to experience it for herself. It was late and knocking was a mistake. She almost convinced herself to turn around and leave but she heard it, footsteps. It was too late to leave now.

“It’s almost two am, what are you doing here?” She asked, crossing her arms as a gust of wind blew by. “Kara, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t come by for visit?” She asked, ignoring the flutter in her heart.

She tried not to gawk but she couldn’t help it. The other woman had on a pair of grey shorts that barely covered anything and a black UCLA hoodie. She couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked even barefaced. Her hair was tousled and wavy. And it took a lot more willpower than she wanted to admit to not run her fingers through Cat’s incredibly soft looking hair.

The other woman’s face scrunched in confusion. “Are you drunk?”

“No… okay maybe a little tipsy but I-” The words got caught in her throat. “Can I come in?”

Cat stepped out the way and motioned for her to enter. “Of course.”

“Would you like some wine, it’s from this little vineyard in the south of France and…it’s not important.” She stopped when she saw the younger woman’s blank stare. “I’ll see if I can find you a glass.”

Cat made her way to the kitchen and Kara sat on the loveseat. She worked for Cat for three years but never once stepped foot in her home. They never did this sort of thing. Cat had been to Kara’s once and that was a time they both never spoke about. She was sure the house was beautifully decorated, once. Full of lavish trinkets and knickknacks and expensive art pieces that Kara would never be able to afford. But now, now almost everything was packed in neatly labelled boxes. There was a half full box filled with books by her feet. It was then when Kara became aware of what she was doing. She was in her former boss’ home, more intoxicated than she wanted to admit. A glass was placed on the table in front of her and she looked up at the other woman. This wasn’t going to go well.

“I’ll ask again, what are you doing here?” She said softly, as she poured the liquid into their glasses.

“I just,” Kara stared at the other empty bottle of wine across the table. “I just wanted to see you before you left. To say goodbye.”

“Oh,” A small smile formed on Cat’s lips. “I’m not even going to ask how you know I hadn’t left yet.”

“I have my sources.” She stated, scrunching her nose at the taste.

“Speaking of, how’s it going with Snapper?” She asked, and Kara found herself entranced as the glass rested on the other woman’s lips.

“It’s your company, you should know.” She snapped a little more sharply than intended.

If Cat was shocked, she didn’t show it. “I’m fully aware of that Kara, I just wanted to see how you’re adjusting.”

“I told you Miss Grant.” Kara swivelled the liquid for a moment. “I don’t do well with change.”

“I’m not your boss anymore and you’re in my home. You can call me Cat.” She spoke nonchalantly.

“Okay, Cat.” She whispered, the memory of the other time still hung in the air. “You’ve been calling me Kara.”

She shook her head and placed a hand on the younger woman’s knee. “Really Kara, what’s going on?”

Kara sighed, the warmth of Cat’s hand was distracting. “Everything’s just been going wrong lately. And I don’t know if I can handle it anymore.”

Cat’s thumb stroked her softly, sending shock waves through her body that she tried to ignore. “What ever is happening, you’ll be fine. You always exceeded my expectations of you and you know how high my standards are.”

“This is different.” She stated, trying to figure out when they had gotten so close to each other.

Cat narrowed her eyes slightly and Kara’s eyes darted to Cat’s parted lips. “There’s something else.”

“Why are you leaving me?” She mumbled, not realizing Cat heard her.

“I have to do this.” There was a finality in Cat’s tone and she hated it.

She looked up at the other woman, her eyes pleading. “Why?”

There was a dreamlike quality in Cat’s voice. “Do you know what the definition of insanity is?”

Kara nodded slightly, her eyes focused on Cat’s hand. “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same result.”

Cat sighed, and Kara felt the warmth leave her as Cat pulled her hand away. “I’m doing it again. I went through this already and I can’t do it again.”

“What?” Kara looked up at the other blonde. “Now I’m confused.”

Cat shook her head and inhaled before getting up from the couch. “You should go.”

“And you shouldn’t.” She spoke quietly but they both heard it.

“Kara,” She whispered her name like that day on the balcony and Kara couldn’t handle it.

She stood up, here eyes conveying the words she still couldn’t say. “Cat.”

“Oh Kara,” she brought her hand to stroke her cheek and Kara leaned into the touch.

“You know, we never spoke about the time…” She trailed off.

The older woman exhaled, her hand dropping to her side. “The time I came over to your apartment.”

“Yeah, that.” She pressed her lips together. “I don’t know how much of that night you remember but-”

“I remember all of it. Every detail.” She interrupted. “Sometimes I wish I could forget it.”

“I don’t,” she confessed, quietly.

“You don’t mean that.” She knew that she was on dangerous grounds from the sharpness of the other woman’s tone.

“Yes, I do.” Kara swallowed, it was now or never. “I’m in love with you, I have been in love with you for a long time. I think you know that. I had hoped that you loved me too but I’m not that naïve. At least not anymore. I-we don’t get the happy ending. I know that now.”

“That’s not fair.” Kara could see the hurt in the other woman’s eyes. “Is this why you came? My flight is in two days and you show up now. I-”  

“You’re leaving Cat! It happened and you never want to talk about it. I’ve tried to mention it, tried to talk about it. But you just brush it off and pretend that it never happened, that we never...It happened Cat. It happened and you’re leaving.” She nearly hissed. “You’re the one leaving me. What else am I supposed to think?”

Cat realized that maybe finishing the first bottle of wine by herself wasn’t a good idea, but right now it was giving her the courage to say what she never could. “I-I want you and maybe I’m in love with you too but I…You say that you’re not naïve but you are if you think that this ends in any other way than heartbreak. I’m trying to save us Kara. And if I stay then I can’t do that. You need to let me go. It’s better that I leave now than when it goes bad. I thought you of all people would understand.”

“Forgive me if I can’t see how you running away instead of even attempting to try is saving us?” Kara couldn’t help it, the words had been trapped in her for too long. “I never took you for a coward, Cat.”

Her head was starting to thump. “Kara, we’re not doing this. Not now.”

“That’s just it Cat, we never do.” She sounded so defeated and she saw Cat hesitate for a moment. “You’re letting fear dictate how this ends.”

Cat took a deep breath, trying to eliminate the pain in her voice. “You need to leave.”  

“And you need to stay.” At this point, Kara didn’t care about the emotions that escaped through her lips.

“I’m serious.” Cat tried to be the ice queen everyone accused her of being but Kara was her weakness, they both knew it.

“So am I.” Kara knew pleading with the other woman wasn’t going to get her anywhere but she needed to try. “We could’ve been so good together.”

The sadness in her voice was not lost on either of them. “I know.”

People always said the eyes were windows into someone’s soul and they were right. Kara was always breathtaking but it was eyes that made Cat short of breath. Those eyes always seemed to hypnotize her and she swore the longer she stared at them, the more she fell for her. She blamed Kara’s yearning eyes for what came next. It was as if Cat had lost control of her own body as she placed her hands on Kara’s back and pulled her flush against her body. Kara’s lips crashed onto hers and their kiss was far from anything resembling a fairytale. It was different than the time in Kara’s apartment. That was full of lust, of want. This kiss reeked of desperation and need. The second Kara’s soft lips touched hers she remembered how hard it was going to be to give this up, to give her up. She tangled her fingers in Kara’s hair, desperately trying to hold on to this feeling. It was the right thing to do, she knew it. But the way electricity followed every inch of skin that Kara had touched made her reconsider. Kara was her weakness. Kara was always going to be her weakness.

They pulled away and she swallowed the lump in her throat “Goodbye Kara.”

“Goodbye Cat.” She refused to let her voice crack.

She walked out the door, her eyes welling up with tears. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Kara wasn’t supposed to be leave here feeling worse than when she came. She loved her and Cat was too scared to give this, them a shot. Whatever it was that might’ve happened between them, that could’ve happened between them. It was over. It never really begun but it was already over. And she needed to accept it. Or at least try to accept it. She needed another drink or four. Maybe then she could get this disaster out of her mind.


End file.
